there’s this guy that looks just like will.i.am at my school and i whisper “let the beat rock” every time he passes me and he always just looks around trying to find who said it
the walk of shame back from the toilets in a restaurant is the worst bit. you know you pooped. and no pee could have taken that long, so everyone else has a good idea that you probably pooped. people know.
they know about the poop you just did.
*grows flowers on u because youre dirt*
basically all i want in life is love, food and a successful text post.
"have you done your homework?"
I swear hot people are so ungrateful I cook them a nice dinner and even throw in a delicious dessert and all they ever tell me is “how did you get in my house”
in 9th grade i was getting picked on in class and this girl was like “fuck you guys leave him alone” and called me over to her seat and I was like “thx lol” and she was like “I have something special to show you don’t tell the teacher” and I said “ok” and she pulled a guinea pig out of her purse
remember last summer when american eagle had that modelling contest where you submit your picture to get votes and if you get into the top 20 votes your picture is displayed at times square in new york
i submitted this photo of me about to sneeze
i placed 12th and i was on the times square billboard for two weeks
i hate each and every single one of you all
(Source: grandadpunchers, via pride)